The Shape-Shifting Applicant

Once upon a dark, stormy job search, a candidate submitted six applications to different roles within 24 hours. His resume was consistent, showing a solid career in marketing, but his cover letters were like something out of a twisted AI experiment. One cover letter painted him as an expert in Congressional rules and procedures, while another claimed significant experience with foundation relations. Then there was the expert in employment law letter, the seasoned major gifts fundraiser pitch, and so on.

Each cover letter spun an increasingly fantastical web of qualifications, none of which aligned with his actual experience and resume. Our clients were baffled and asked us if he had sent them by mistake or if they had received some sort of AI-generated spam. Ultimately, he was rejected from all of the roles and his wild work experience claims were left to haunt our inboxes for eternity.

The Day We Almost Killed the Cover Letter

Every October, some people tempt fate by wandering into haunted houses. Others do it by trying to remove cover letters from their hiring process.

A client once told me they wanted to eliminate the cover letter requirement altogether. “No one reads them,” they said. “They just slow people down.”

I gently explained that while most cover letters are, indeed, nothing to write home about, the good ones are gold. They reveal alignment, writing ability, and whether someone truly gets the mission.

After consideration, the client agreed to keep the requirement. Sure enough, when the search launched, several strong cover letters immediately set apart the candidates who truly got it. One finalist’s letter in particular made it quite clear why she cared about advancing the organization’s work, and she ended up being the hire.

A few weeks later, the client admitted they were glad we hadn’t exorcised cover letters from the process—because sometimes what looks like dead weight in the hiring process is actually the thing keeping the ghosts of bad hires at bay.

He’s Back…Or Is He?

You know those slasher movies where the killer just won’t stay down? That was my experience with a candidate recently.

He seemed like the perfect hire. Great interviews, solid skills, mission-aligned—the whole package. The candidate accepted our offer enthusiastically and we set a start date. The team cleared their calendars. A laptop was ordered. Everything was set.

Then, the night before Day One, the first attack came: “Not feeling well, need to postpone.”

Okay, no problem. The team rescheduled everything. Crisis averted… or so I thought.

But just like Jason rising from Crystal Lake, early on the NEW start date came another message: “Doctor says I’m still contagious.”

Then? Radio silence. Like the eerie quiet before something terrible happens, communication went dark. It took an entire day to get a response.

The hiring manager’s patience was hanging by a thread. The team had rearranged schedules twice, and both times last-minute updates sent us scrambling.

After the second strike, we knew this pattern wouldn’t stop. Before a third attack could materialize, we did what every final character must do: we ended it and rescinded the offer.

In slasher films, the threat keeps coming back. In hiring, if a candidate shows unreliable, last-minute communication before they start, believe them. This is one sequel you don’t want to see.

The Headless Horseman’s Chase

There’s an old legend about the Headless Horseman racing through the night. If you’re not fast enough, he’ll catch you. In hiring, the Horseman chases your perfect candidates while you’re scheduling one more meeting.

I was managing a search when we found an exceptional finalist. Stellar background, perfect alignment, fantastic interviews. The hiring manager was thrilled and ready to move forward.

Well, sort of ready.

First, they needed board chair approval on compensation. Then one more “informal coffee chat.” Then comparable salary reviews. Each delay seemed reasonable, but in the distance, I could hear hoofbeats—competition gaining ground.

“We’ll have the offer ready early next week,” the hiring manager kept saying. But one more week became two…and then three. And while they carefully crossed t’s and dotted i’s, another organization galloped ahead at full speed.

After several weeks, the dreaded news arrived. The candidate had accepted another offer.

Gone. Vanished into the night like Ichabod Crane.

“Can we counter?” the devastated hiring manager asked.

But once the Horseman claims his prize, it’s too late.

Death by Committee

A client kicked off a search with two decision makers. Reasonable enough, until each of them decided someone else also needed a say. Soon, more people were added until the search committee numbered 8, each with different priorities, conflicting opinions, and definitions of the right fit.

Interviews turned into debates, feedback meetings became group therapy, and consensus drifted further away with every call. By the end, they were not choosing between candidates; they were choosing which internal battle to fight next.

Eventually, they made a hire. But in short order,  the new hire was fired: a casualty of a process so messy that even the best candidate could not survive it.

The moral? In hiring, too many voices don’t lead to clarity — they lead to death by committee.

The Werewolf Cover Letter
One applicant submitted what started out as a normal cover letter. Paragraph one read just as you would expect. He shared his sincere interest in the role and his enthusiasm for its work.

Then, under the full moon of paragraph two, the cover letter transformed and he began criticizing the organization’s mission.

In paragraph three, he questioned the organization’s impact.

And by paragraph four, he was proudly declaring he was “not personally aligned” with its work but that they should hire him anyway so he could “keep them honest.”

Then, in the closing paragraph, just as the moon slipped out of sight, the cover letter turned back to normal, as though nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

Needless to say, he didn’t get the job. Beware the next full moon!

The Haunting

It was a quiet afternoon in the office when a knock echoed through the hallway. The hiring manager opened the door and froze.

A candidate, declined weeks earlier, stood there, resume in hand.

“I would love to know why I didn’t get the job,” she said.

A chill ran down the hiring manager’s spine. This was no polite follow-up. This was a haunting.

In hiring, some ghosts linger. Candidates who appear out of nowhere may think they are showing initiative, but they are only providing a fright.