Last month we offered up questions that would serve us well to ask before taking the plunge (whether it be dating or employment).
Your response was fantastic — and enlightening! This month I’m sharing some of the questions you suggested I add to the list.
Not surprisingly, many of the suggested questions were related to finances. After all, they say the number one cause for marital trouble is money; no doubt, it can cause plenty of trouble in employment situations, too!
Without further ado, here are more questions to ask before committing to an employment or romantic relationship:
- How much money do you have in your bank account? How much was in it five years ago and how much do you expect will be in it five years from now?
Here you are trying to understand whether your potential partner is financially stable and whether his bank account has a positive or negative trajectory. (And for dating situations, ask if he lives in his parents’ basement.)
- With respect to finances, what’s your burn rate? What’s the breakdown of how you spend your money?
Do you and your potential mate share financial priorities?
- If a financial downturn were to occur and money got tight, how would you react? Do you have a rainy day fund?
Does the person have a plan in place for fluctuations in income? Will he adjust spending habits or continue as though he has money growing on trees in the backyard? (For dating situations, ask how much he has in his 401k.)
- What are your objectives for the next year? Two years? Ten years? Do you have the financial resources to make that happen?
With these questions you are trying to determine if your potential partner has a vision for the future and the means to achieve his/her goals.
- Why is this role important to the big picture?
Is your role critical or are you just a cog in the wheel? Think about how unhappy you will be if you land in a role where you feel dispensable.
- Describe the relationship you have with those who support you.
For employment situations, you want to know how the person treats donors; for dating, you want to know how the person treats family and friends. Does he view the relationships as transactional or ones built on common values and trust? Does he tend the garden carefully or expect a crop after ignoring it for months?
- What values and principles guide you?
A potential mate probably won’t immediately confess to being morally challenged, but why not ask the question? You’ll know pretty quickly if the person gives the topic much though. But don’t stop there; ask friends and associates familiar with your mate what they think. Sadly, I’ve heard about countless relationships failing when one party realized the other’s moral compass was faulty.
There you have it. Thanks to all who shared feedback and offered suggestions. And keep me posted on how your relationships are going…romantic and otherwise!